you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
