Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
