there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
