I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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