On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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