i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
it hurts more in the daytime
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
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Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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