wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
