she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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