And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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