i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
