We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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