Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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