is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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