kristin has been a bad kristin
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
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i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
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Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart