problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.