I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
