thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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