She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
