What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
