Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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