If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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