I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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