do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
