My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize