im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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