Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
