Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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