She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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