I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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