even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
