id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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