The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
