Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
