STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Four minutes until I can fart!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
