we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
