YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
