Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
