Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
