Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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