hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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