Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
