We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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