i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I am naked and annoyed.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
