I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
