do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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