Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
