That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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