You're so nebulous sometimes
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
