I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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