i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
