based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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