It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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