you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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