this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
