I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize