If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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