are you still at the devil's house?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
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