It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
